Dear future wife…
I been trying to figure out a way to write these words for like the past 5 years now. I think it’s because that’s when I turned 21, when things were fun for my peers but I was consciously dreaming on how to spend my life with you explicitly. I’ve been extremely patient while battling temptation from a world that tells me “fuck a wife” and “it’s cool to have a grip of girls” — yet I’ve still been roaming the ocean just to prove why waiting for you was worth my world. I can’t tell you how many nights I stayed up visualizing a life, one where I’d never leave your side. Can you imagine how many pieces of paper I balled up out of frustration because I thought I met you in someone else only to give my all, then end up back by myself.
See when you finally look into my eyes, I want you to know that I was the walking definition of persistence. No matter how many times I was told “just fuck these hoes” I resisted. Because I couldn’t imaging myself trading in a night for what’s missing. When you look at me I want you to see the queen within yourself that reflects from my pupils but penetrate your soul. A sight that magnifies your queendom, so if your love were particles and I was blind I could still see them.
You have no idea how many times in my mind you said, “I do” without me even meeting you.
This is beyond fate or a first date. My soul is so entangled in your spirit that even from heaven I can feel it. I need you to know that the last love I believed to be you stabbed me so intensely that life wasn’t worth living. However, your hand touched my faced and it was in that feeling that I found hope. The journey for you became my solace to exist, my reason to persist, my will to resist, my heart to risk.
Never forget I risked it all for you before you knew I risked it.
So no matter where you are in the universe, I’ll find you. No matter how long it takes, I’ll search for you. The reason why is because I can feel you too. You’re searching for me and you’re dealing with heartbreak, fake love, regrets, and setbacks. Once I find you, I’ll set back your setbacks. I’ll make you fall in love so deeply you’ll forget those regrets. Any fake love you’ve experienced will become realer than any HD romantic film you’ve experienced.
On that day you take my hand in marriage I’ll smile and say, “We’re married.” I’ll remind you that your love was always mine to carry. That the men you’ve experienced in your past was exactly what the universe needed you to experience to be the women you are now. I’ll kiss your forehead a million times, to make a million rhymes; you’ll lay next to me and I’ll write you a million lines on this same sheet of paper.
The love I give you as your Prince Charming will become realer than your reality. You’ll never need love as a supplement. Your smile will shine the darkest of days. Your aura will shine the darkest of ways. The love we create when we have children will validate every word I say. I’ll love you like the seeds you grow for 9 months, as if it were a 100 years and we were old and gray. I still hold your hand each and every day.
I don’t know when I’ll find you but I know when I do every single minute will be worth the lifetime you deserved to have me there while I desperately searched this desert.
Believe me when I say on that day we’ll be in love forever…
My future wife.
